Since deciding to change my life and focus inwards within the last few years. I have lost a great deal of relationships. They literally withered and died. Since social interaction and societal norms no longer hold the thrill they once did for me. I had nothing in common with those people. My evolution was happening and I was helpless to stop it. It forced them away from me. We couldn’t even speak on the phone because we had no common interests. We simply grew apart. While I was looking for deeper meaning to things that were happening around me, they had other things that interested them. That is ok, as we all experience life differently.
Strange, but I remember two very successful people telling me that my interactions would change as I grew into myself. They explained to me that I had to cut the baggage in order to grow. This made me deeply hurt, the thought of leaving some loved ones behind bothered me. In fact, it bothered me so much that I am no longer as close to those advisors and mentors. You see I did not fully grasp what they were saying and consequently rejected it. To me it sounded really mean. It wasn’t until recently that I reflected on what was told to me and realized that they were right and I was wrong. I finally came to the realization that in order to grow, one must limit one’s contact with toxic persons.
I realized how foolish I was holding onto unhealthy friendships or relationships. It humbled me also to be wrong. For not being able to see what was before me all along. I loved these people, so I was blind to their toxicity. Even while they continued to be damaging to my mental health, I held on for dear life because I loved them. In my eyes they could do no wrong. That is, until I was brave enough to take off my rose-colored lenses. I humbly submit my realizations to you in the hope that I can be of service in your life.
Toxic people are master manipulators. I’m not sure if they’re born that way or if it’s a cultivated skill. Toxic people have the ability to wear you out, wear you down and leave you feeling exhausted whenever you talk to them. They can leave you feeling angry, unworthy and will suck the life force out of you if you allow them. I avoid toxic people at all costs. This is easier said than done but I try anyway.
Some types of toxic people to avoid
The Narcissist– The conversation is always about them and always comes back to them.
Lovely Liar– You know you can’t trust a word out of that mouth.
Drama Queen– Oh! let the circus begin.
Control Freak– You dare not even breathe when they are in the room
Jamie Jealous– What man can stand against envy?
Victor Victim– Because everything is always someone else’s fault
Emotional Vacuum– Every time you speak to them, they wear you out
E is for Evil– I don’t know, that person who just gets a kick out of hurting others. Why is this? beyond me. Some things are better left to GOD.
Do you have toxic people in your life, ask yourself this?
- Do you feel like you have to constantly save them and help them out?
- Do you sometimes find yourself lying or making excuses for them?
- Does the thought of seeing them fill you with anxiety?
- Do you feel pressured to impress them?
- Do you feel exhausted once you’ve seen them?
- Do they disregard your needs and are incapable of respecting your boundaries?
- Do you feel upset, annoyed or irritated when you see them?
- Do they bring out the worst in you?
- Do their situations or current melodrama negatively affect you?
If you said yes to any one of the above questions, then maybe just maybe you are dealing with a toxic person. You owe it to yourself to be in a nurturing environment where all aspects of your spirit and life can flourish. Get rid of anyone who is not adding value to your life.